Solitude

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A comment I made on Jane Friedman’s blog There Are No Rules inspired this post.  Jane’s entry was about inspiration, and contained some quotes she found interesting about how writers can tap into their innermost selves when they are alone.

Tons of people think artists and writers are or should be solitary people, holed up in a studio or an office, painstakingly practicing their art at the point of a brush or the keyboard, with no distractions.  Actually, many writers struggle for those moments because they have so much going on in their personal lives.  Work, family, errands, chores; it’s all demanding.  Most of us don’t have the luxury of writing full-time, especially novelists.

What about the other side of the coin, those who don’t have much of anything?  I’ve known a lot of people who are alone, with no family or few friends.  They tend to bend your ear when you get a chance to talk to them, since at home there’s no one to listen.

I’ve been there.  Truly.  I’ve gone whole weekends without talking to a living soul, either on the phone or face-to-face.  Sometimes the only interaction I have is online.  Many times it’s by choice.  Lots of times, it’s not.  When I’m writing, that can be a blessing.  I’ve tried sneaking work during the day, and there are just too many damn interruptions unless I’m at lunch.

But other times, it sucks.  I’ve gone out and browsed around the flea market not because I want someone’s used dishes, but so I can be around other human beings.  (PS–It’s a great place for writers to eavesdrop on conversations.  Heh heh.)  Right now, I’m living in a place where it’s extremely hard to find like-minded people unless you belong to certain demographics, which I do not.  Judging by a local newspaper article I read a couple of years ago, I’m not the only one here with this perspective.

Writing is a solitary venture.  Even in a house filled with family, when we visit those worlds inside our heads, there’s no one there but us.  Eventually we have to pull ourselves out, if only to seek sustenance or use the bathroom.  That doesn’t mean your life has to be that way.

As I said in my comment, I think solitude is necessary for creativity, but too much isn’t a good thing.  The need for companionship, if not fulfilled, can usurp the good things about solitude and shut you down.  When you need food water won’t do it.  When you need to hear another human voice, forums and even chat rooms are dry bread compared to a steak sandwich. (Why do I try to write blog posts when I’m starving?)

Good writers need that human interaction.  You’re representing life.  Unless your book is set on another planet and your protagonists are all sentient squids, chances are you’re writing about other people.  Go out among them, if only to do field research.  If you’re lucky enough to have a family or live in a situation with housemates, you can mine them for inspiration, bits of dialogue and critiques.  And they will keep you anchored in the world.

For those who are mostly alone, I highly recommend seeking the company of other people on a regular basis.  It will help you recharge.  Church is good if you’re into that, or a group that involves some interest other than writing.  And no, online forums don’t count.  People need to be in the same room with each other.   Have some kind of activity other than your work to engage you.

Maybe you’ll find that your work is better when you isolate yourself.  That may be, but most humans are not meant to be completely solitary creatures.  Find your moments and use them and then get out there.  The reward is richer than you ever imagined.

Vocabulary: The Letter H and 100th Post

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HOLY CHRISTMAS, BATMAN!  I have reached 100 POSTS!

Not bad, considering my initial fear that I had nothing to say.  Since this is my 100th post, I should mark the occasion with a special celebration.  I have no published books to give away, alas.  Guess I’ll have to save that for my next milestone, like actually publishing one.  *snerk*

Thank you to all my readers, both known and unknown.  Stick around because I’m working on some plans for next year’s posts, including some audience participation and other goodies.

Today’s letter is H, for hospital, Harry Potter (did you see Deathly Hallows Part 1 yet???), heaps (as in heaps of presents – hope you got some!) and Hell, which I am in when it gets cold enough to make my fingers crack and bleed.  Onward!

Haggis – the national dish of Scotland, immortalized as such by Robert Burns’ poem Address to a Haggis.  A large sausage-like sheep’s stomach stuffed with sheep’s pluck (heart, liver and lungs), oatmeal, onions, spices and suet (fat).  Traditionally served with neeps (mashed turnips) and tatties (mashed potatoes).

Hallux – scientific name for the big toe on primate feet.  In birds, it’s the toe that points backward.  Contrary to popular belief, you can walk without a big toe.

Hedonist – one who practices a devotion to a life of pure pleasure, believing it is the greatest good.  The Doctor was no hedonist; while he enjoyed traveling through time in his trusty Tardis, he always took on the messy task of stopping aliens from destroying humanity.

Herpetophobia – fear of snakes.  I like them.  No really.  They eat nasty bugs, slugs and mice.  Without them we’d be overrun.  And except for the ones that can kill you with a well-aimed glance, they’re kind of cute.

Peek-a-boo! Aww!

Hircine – smelling like a smelly goat.  Yoda was cute, but centuries of climbing around the swamps of Dagobah had left him with a rather hircine odor.

Hillbilly – common and derogatory term for a mountain dweller, mostly in the Ozarks and Appalachians.  It is sometimes used interchangeably with the term white trash when referring to rural folks, along with redneck, yokel, trailer trash and cracker (Southern).  Here’s a great article about Ozark hillbillies at Ozark Mossman’s Bizzaritorium.

Holograph – text written in the author’s handwriting.  For example, a holographic will is a handwritten document, usually not witnessed.  Even with a legal signature, they aren’t valid in all states.  In those where they are, a properly executed, signed and dated holographic will, with or without witnesses, including a statement that it supercedes all previous wills, may get your character his inheritance.  Double-check with a lawyer, because I ain’t one.  I’m just a hillbilly.

Hornpipe – British country folk dance named after the instrument that played the tune.  Yarr! Dance this on the poop deck, me hearties!  Looks like fun, especially with a snootful o’ grog!

HP – short for Harry Potter.  I promise I won’t nerd out…really…okay, any writer who wants to do a series should read this.  In fact, read it anyway, just because it’s loads of fun.  I don’t care if you don’t like fantasy. You’ll like this.  Who among us didn’t wish as a child that we could do magic?

HQ – short for headquarters.  I know acronyms aren’t really words, but since some of them have entered the vernacular, one or two of your characters might drop them in conversation.  For wacky fun, a character who talks primarily in acronyms will drive everyone else crazy.

HR – okay, last one, I promise. Human Resources, everyone’s favorite corporate department! “Hey, did you hear about Stinky Bob?” the office gossip said, her voice shivering with suppressed glee.  “He was called into HR a while ago.”

Huarache – Mexican sandal. And a Mexican dish of cornmeal dough topped with all kinds of yummy noms.  It gets its name from the shape, which is similar to the shoe.  If your huarache tastes like a huarache, I’d probably send it back.

Huarache you wear.

Huarache you eat.

Husbandry – science of cultivating animals or crops for food.  No, it’s not the science of keeping your husband in line.  That’s a whole other article.

Hyoid – U-shaped.  A little bone in the throat above the larynx, the hyoid bone, is often fractured by manual strangulation.  If you’re writing a detective novel where someone gets strangled you’ll want to remember this.

Hypotrichosis – hairlessness. Your hypotrichotic villain could leave behind someone else’s hair at the crime scene, thus implicating that person in the strangulation murder.  Muwahahaha.

That’s all for today, kids.  Have a safe and Happy New Year!

10 Things Receptionists Won’t Tell You

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Working a front desk for a living isn’t always as simple as it looks.   Receptionists are the gatekeepers to companies. Whether you’re a walk-in sales representative or a prominent bigwig with an appointment, it’s best to treat us with dignity.

In no particular order, here are ten things receptionists won’t tell you (but would probably like to):

#10 – Jerky sales tactics won’t work.

If we tell you your target doesn’t see people without an appointment, believe us.  Don’t try to argue, because we’ll just tell the person you were a jerk, if we give him your card at all.   Don’t try to trick a name out of us either.  “Your purchasing manager…what was his name again?” won’t work on a savvy receptionist.   We’re onto your tricks.

Also, if we tell you nicely that our bosses don’t allow you to set up your scammy vending machines in our break room, don’t yell and stomp out in a huff.   We didn’t make the rules.

#9 – We have other things to do besides chat.

As social creatures, most humans enjoy small talk.  But not everyone does, or has time.  Most receptionists are also the company’s switchboard operators, not to mention saddled with a plethora of clerical tasks.  We can’t always talk to visitors  while they wait for their appointments.

We know how much waiting sucks.  Carry a magazine in your briefcase, or use the time to go over your presentation / sales literature / notes before your meeting.  If the receptionist seems open to chatting, keep it away from personal topics.

#8 – We already have a job; we’re not YOUR assistants.

The receptionist’s job is to welcome you and notify your appointment that you’re here.  If asked by our bosses, we will gladly make a copy, fetch a file or even a coffee for you.  Please don’t ask us to phone your dentist, your wife, or anything else you’d ask your secretary to do.  You may be our customer, but we don’t work for you.  Use your cell phone and make your own personal calls.  In fact, you shouldn’t be asking your own secretary to do personal crap either!

#7 – We can’t always answer your questions, but we’ll try our best to find someone who can.

We’re not usually trained on product information or tech issues.  We’re happy to get you to someone who can help you.  That’s what we do.  We may have to ask you a few questions to do that, so bear with us.  If we transfer you to the wrong person, either it was a simple mistake or you didn’t give us clear information.  Please don’t call us back and bitch us out.

#6 – Our execs and salespeople don’t always tell us their schedules.

A big receptionist pet peeve is when people leave without telling anyone.  Some offices have sign-out boards or policies set up to notify the switchboard when someone is gone.  Others, especially large companies, don’t.  We transfer your call automatically and if the person isn’t there, we may not even know it.  Companies have voice mail so people can get back to you if they miss your call.  Leave a clear message with your contact info.  If someone is out indefinitely or has left us, we’ll probably have an alternative for you already.

#5 – We can’t make anyone do anything.

In most companies, the receptionist is the underground part of the totem pole.  We can’t make someone pick up the phone, be in the office, or call you back, etc.  Please don’t launch into a tirade at us if we transfer you and you get voice mail.  We’re sorry you aren’t getting through, but once we transfer a call it’s beyond our control.

We’ll be happy to transfer you to a manager if necessary.  We don’t like it when our co-workers don’t answer their calls either, but often we aren’t allowed to say anything.

#4 – Our lobby is not a public rest area.

This is a business.  Our facilities are for our employees.  Don’t come in and ask us if you can use the bathroom.  Chances are we aren’t allowed to let you past the desk.  Find an alternative.  Emergencies happen, but we may be risking a reprimand or even termination if we let you in.  Don’t put us in that position.

We’ll call 911 for you if you need us to.  Make sure it’s not because you lost your cell phone and your fast food burger didn’t have ketchup on it like you wanted.

#3 – If you’re applying for a job at the company, treat the receptionist with respect.

HR will sometimes ask us what we thought of an applicant because they know people often treat the servants badly.  If you’re rude to us, the hiring manager will know it.  We’ll either paste a note to your resume or tell on you after your interview.  Sucking up is much better.  Practice until you can do it without sounding fake, and we’ll tell our boss we really liked you.

#2 – We love it when you acknowledge us at holiday time.

Vendors and customers often send or bring goodies for a little Christmas suck-up.  If we deal with you on a regular basis, it’s nice when you remember us with a candy box, a cookie tin or card just for us.  It’s torture to watch packages loaded with chocolate march by, knowing the recipient won’t share.  And when something yummy gets put in the break room for everyone, by the time we can get away from the phone, it’s usually gone.

#1 – Keep your crazy to yourself.

It’s scary working the front desk, especially where the general public passes through.  Some of the people we see are certifiable.  We don’t care about your Martian neighbors.  We don’t want to hear your whole life story while you fill out your job application.  And for God’s sake, DON’T PULL UP YOUR SHIRT AND SHOW US YOUR SURGERY SCAR.

See?  It’s not so hard.  All you have to do is remember your manners.  We want to like you when you walk through our door.   And thanks for the cookies. *wink*

Possibilities

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Short post today; Christmas prep is underway.  I’ve finished all my shopping.  I received a present of my own to share with you.  Recently I opened my Gmail and found a notice for my very first pay as a writer, for test articles on a site to which I’m hoping to become a regular contributor.  Yay!

No, wait.  That doesn’t really do the moment justice.

OMFGYAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

That’s better.

I haven’t done this kind of informational writing before, using keywords.  It’s new to me.  I see it as a challenge, not an obstacle.  The more I branch out with different types of writing, the more avenues of success open up to me.

The thought exploded in my mind that a small beginning is ONLY the beginning.  For the first time in my life, I’ve tried something new, and it actually worked.  I know now I can do this.  I really can.  That’s the sort of realization that opens the world to a person.  If this can work, maybe my other writing will.  And someday, I may be gracing the shelves of your nearest bookstore.*

Most people work from necessity.  Few of us have trust funds.  It’s a great feeling to get paid for something you want to do rather than something you have to do.  Any time you can experience that, savor it.   Even small jobs add up to your collective experience.  Writing for websites can give you clips.   Pop these things on your resume or CV and rejoice in your hard work.  You should be proud of yourself when you finish a job well done, especially if you feel you’ve really earned your pay.

If you’ve earned money doing something you enjoy, please share in the comments.  Tell us why you chose to do it and how it felt to realize the possibilities of your dream.

*Oh please oh please oh please.

Vocabulary: Gee!

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Today’s letter stands for grits (yummy with butter and pepper – haven’t tried them with red-eye gravy yet), guns, gentlemen, Gollum and gargoyle.  Let us begin.

Galactophagist – one who drinks milk.  I didn’t know there was a word for that…I love the stuff.

Mmm…moo juice.

Image: aopsan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Garret – attic room, commonly occupied by starving artists/writers/poets in romantic literature.

Genre – type of literature, such as romance, mystery, paranormal, sci-fi, etc.  Can be combined with others to create subgenres.  Example – paranormal romance like Twilight or a historical mystery like The Name of the Rose.  The short-lived TV program Firefly is a space western, with strong elements of each.

Gelato – Italian version of ice cream with less butterfat than the American kind.  While ice cream is whipped with air, gelato is not, making it melt faster in the mouth for a burst of immediate, rich, delicious flavor.

Ghawazi – tribe of Egyptian dancers, whose style is thought to be the origin of modern belly dancing.  Fascinating article here by orientalist Edwina Nearing.

Ghostwriter – a writer hired to write a book for somebody else.  Celebrity books are often written by ghostwriters, and then sold under the celebrity’s name.  You didn’t think they did their own writing, did you?

Gibbet – an old word for gallows.  Scooby and the gang freed the heroine from the noose just seconds before the monster sprung the gibbet’s trapdoor.  “Jinkies!” Velma exclaimed. “He nearly hanged you!”

Gimlet – small tool for boring holes; also a drink made with gin or vodka and lime juice.

Gimlet

Glaucous – light bluish-green.  I heard Richard Dreyfuss use this word in Jaws and I always wondered what it meant, but I never looked it up.  Bad writer! Bad!

Glossary – list of terms and definitions, often found at the back of a textbook.

Gormless – unintelligent.  Batman wondered how Robin could be so gormless as to let Joker capture him.  Perhaps his hot chocolate had been drugged.  Could that rather hirsute waitress have been one of Joker’s henchmen in a dress?

Goalmouth – the area between goalposts.

Gravid – pregnant.   Willow didn’t want to tell Buffy she was gravid with a mutant demon baby. Fooling around with Spike while hypnotized was embarrassing enough.

Groundlings – the Elizabethan commoners who paid a penny to stand in the yard (central open area) at the Globe Theater and watch Shakespeare’s plays.

Guile – crafty deception, wiles.

Guignol (grand guignol) – shocking or horrifying entertainment; over-the-top.  From Theatre du Grand Guignol in Paris, a bastion of in-your-face theater from its opening in 1897 until it closed in 1962.

Gwynedd – a county in Wales.

I could go there.

Gynotikolobomassophile – someone who enjoys nibbling on women’s earlobes. I swear this vocabulary search gets weirder every time.

Gyre – circular motion.  Those slithy toves who gyred and gimbled in the wabe in Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky must have been pretty dizzy.  Gimble means to make holes as with a gimlet.

A slithy tove gimbling. No word on whether he gyred first.

That’s all for G.  Good night kids!

6 Things to Do When You’re Sick

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Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving holiday.  Me, not so much.

Traditionally, I get a cold between Turkey Day and Christmas.  This year, it showed up two days before the holiday.  I spent the last four days wishing I had enough energy to clean the house and put up the tree.

But being sick doesn’t have to be miserable or boring.  Here are six things to do when you’re feeling puny.

#1

Update your computer

Don’t you hate those update balloons that pop up when you log in?  Or the numerous anti-virus, spyware and malware detector scans that take up so much time and memory?  Well, now’s the perfect time to get them going, since you’re too fuzzy to do any work on the thing anyway.  Just open them up and let them run while you take a nap!

#2

Watch cartoons

When you’re sick, your mind can’t comprehend things like reality shows or the news.  Watching fake-tanned idiots scream at each other or depressing economic stories will only tax your poor, befuddled brain.  Escape into the wonderful world of cartoons!  Spongebob’s colorful images, silly storylines and brainless comedy are all much better when you’re stoned on over-the-counter meds.

Daytime television is a great sleep aid if you’re too dizzy for the cartoons but need something to break the eerie silence that pervades your house on a weekday.  Soaps (who are those people and why are they hanging off a cliff?), court shows, and endless commercials for diploma mills and car insurance will knock you right out.

#3

Eat kid food

If you’re lucky enough to have someone taking care of you, they can make you easy-to-digest foods like chicken noodle soup, toast or grilled cheese sandwiches, the way your mother did.  If you’re on your own these are fast and easy to prepare, so you won’t have to stand up for too long.  Never mind the health regimen; you need comfort food!  Sip a little Coke or have a prepackaged Lunchable with the little crackers.  Pick them up on the way home from work, when you know you’re going to spend the next three days horizontal.

#4

Surf the Internet

Most people have laptops and wireless routers now.  You can get a tilt-table laptop cart at Walmart that will allow you to lie on the couch and use the computer.  Since you’re not at work, you can read all the sites your IT department blocks.

Alternatively, you could play video games if you’re up to it.  You can finally play uninterrupted while everyone else is gone, and you don’t have to hide Grand Theft Auto XI: Kill and Maim from the kids.

#5

Mess with people

If you’ve lost your voice, you can call your nerd buddies and pretend to be Gollum.  Ask them things like “What’s taters, precious?” and say “Stupid fat hobbit!” before hanging up.  They’ll think it’s funny, honest.

Call your boss and croak, “I feel better…I’ve only been to the bathroom six times in the last hour; are you SURE you don’t want me to come in?”

Rub your head with a dry towel and make your unwashed hair stand on end.  Wear your crappiest pajamas, an old tattered robe and if you’re a man, forget about shaving.  You probably won’t feel like it anyway.  Answer the door like this when you hear the mailman come, making sure to cough and sneeze violently.  Watch him fall off the step trying to get away from you.

#6

Do crafts

You’re too sick to work but not sick enough to sleep or you’ve been getting better and now you’re bored.  Make a sculpture from toothpicks and glue.   Steal your kid’s coloring books and crayons and create a masterpiece to hang on the refrigerator.  Carve animals out of soap.  Do origami.  Make paper airplanes and shoot them at the dog.  Spend an hour with a treat trying to get him out from under the bed and de-traumatized before your family gets home.

What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re sick?  Please share in the comments!

Is Writing Commercial Fiction a Sell-Out?

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Nicola Morgan at Help! I Need a Publisher! inspired this post.  She had an older post about selling out and how it’s more difficult to get published now, because it’s all about sales and not so much writing anymore.

I went back and reread it recently.  Although Nicola is in the UK, her remarks are relevant in the US as well.

Nicola says in the comments, “Definition of commercial – simple: sells a lot. It doesn’t mean bad: it means popular. End of.”  She’s right.  Publishing is a business and these are business decisions.  A lot of writers think of what they do as art.  Many don’t consider commercial fiction art the way we think of it.  Art is Da Vinci, Shakespeare, and the like.

Here’s a wake-up call:  Shakespeare’s plays were commercial fiction.  In Elizabethan times, there were no movies.  People went to the theater.  The nobles got to sit in boxes, but the riff-raff had to stand downstairs.  Still, they went.  Everybody did.

Shakespeare cribbed story elements from other sources, the same way modern filmmakers do.  He mixed them up and presented them to a new audience in an entertaining way.  He invented new words and found common human elements in his stories that resonate with people even today.  That is why his works are classic.  They only seem literary to us because we don’t speak Elizabethan English.

What Shakespeare came up with sold in his time.  Dan Brown, Michael Palmer, Dean Koontz, Stephen King, countless romance authors, etc. are doing well because people buy their books.  This is what we like, people.  Art is subjective.

Writing my first novel (technically my third, but the first I’m actually trying to sell) and having to cut it back so much is teaching me a lot about commercial writing.  So is reading my favorite genre authors.  The next one I’m not even going to bother to flesh out as much.

Why?

  • It doesn’t need it.  I’m learning about making each word count, rather than trying to cover everything.  Show, don’t tell takes more time, but if I’m careful about details, I can show a lot in less space.  A shorter book is easier to sell.  At least that’s what I keep hearing.
  • It takes less time to write it.  If I have to keep working to survive even with books published and royalties coming in (don’t I wish!), I’ll have to make do with little bits of time the way I do now.  The luxury of full-time writing will never be mine unless I join the tiny ranks of million-dollar bestsellers.  Not bloody likely.

It’s not a sellout to choose popular fiction over literary fiction.  I don’t mind cranking them out as long as whatever I produce is entertaining and I’m happy with it.  I never saw popular fiction as a sell-out and I never will. That’s what I like to read, and that’s what I’ll write.  I don’t think I have a literary novel in me, and I like writing fight scenes too much.

In the comments on Nicola’s post, Bacchus replied, “I think it’s only selling out when you can no longer enjoy what your [sic]doing. Giving up your joy in a task is like giving up your very essence.”  She’s right too.   If that happens to you, the work becomes just work.  You’re marking time.

When you find yourself doing that, then it might be time to quit, or at least take a break until you find your joie de vivre again.  If I like the popular stuff and enjoy writing it, my chances are better because I’ll have an audience who already reads whatever it is, and my work will have spirit.

Apparently, then, getting published means find something that will sell, that you want to write, that is universally appealing and that you’re capable of doing justice to.  Not so hard!  We’ll see.

You can’t make it if you don’t try, that’s for sure.  Read posts like Nicola’s and take them for what they are, a gentle reminder to stay realistic in your pursuits.

Vocabulary – Fee Fi Fo Fum!

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Today’s letter is brought to you by fire, fellowship, fraternizing and fiends.  The title words, spoken by a fiend in a fairy tale, fall under fighting words.

Farrier – a person who shoes horses.  Not to be confused with the blacksmith, who makes the horseshoes.  In olden times they often did both, and some still know how.  Modern farriers mostly stick with shoeing and caring for the horse’s feet by trimming the hooves and monitoring their health.

Faun – a mythical creature, part man and part goat.  Mr. Tumnus in C. S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia is a faun.  Satyrs are similar but less pleasant.  Horror writer Brian Keene penned a deliciously perverted book called Dark Hollow about a satyr running amuck.

Tumnus: a friend, not a fiend.

Fecund (FEE-kund) – fertile, fruitful.  Scooby Doo’s girlfriend Scooby Dee proved fecund when six puppies arrived on Thursday.

Fealty (FEE uhl-tee) – fidelity, faithfulness, loyalty to the lord of the manor.  In The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Pippin swears fealty to Boromir’s father Denethor, Steward of Gondor, as a partial atonement for Boromir dying while defending the hobbits from Uruk-Hai.

Finial – the decorative knob on top of a table lamp, which probably doesn’t give you enough light to write by.  It was Colonel Mustard in the writing room with the finial.

Fiction – the hardest kind of writing to make a living from.  Most novelists never get to quit their day jobs.  I won’t give up!

Fjord (feey-ORD) – you probably know this one.  A Norwegian word, it means a narrow inlet of the sea.  Here is a lovely picture of one.

Flashback – a scene that cuts into the middle of a narrative to inform the reader of something that took place before it began.  Sometimes writers put a flashback in a different tense to make it stand out.  It might be long enough for its own chapter, or just a short segue without any breaks.

Flagellum – the whippy, tail-like thing a protozoa uses to move around.  Sort of like rowing a boat with an eyelash.

Focaccia (fo-CAH-chuh) – a delicious Italian flatbread, sometimes baked with herbs and cheese and garlic and—and…mmmMMMhhhaaaaaa where did I put my napkin ‘cause now I’m drooooliiinnngg…

That’s a good-looking bread, that is.

Image by kochtopf / Flickr.com

Fontanel – the soft spot on the top of a baby’s head.  The skull bones of an infant have not yet ossified, and the resulting space is covered by membrane.  Handle with care.

Frame narrative – a larger story that encompasses a smaller narrative, and comes to a close at the end.  Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is a frame narrative, with the bedraggled Victor Frankenstein telling his horrific tale to the ship’s Captain Walton, who has rescued him in the frozen North.

Friable – crumbly.  Usually used to describe asbestos, which when friable is dangerous because it releases fibers that can cause serious lung damage when inhaled.

Fugu (FOO-goo) – puffer fish, a Japanese delicacy.  Fugu must be meticulously prepared because it is poisonous.

Fumarole – vapor hole in a volcano.  “Stay away from that fumarole, Robin,” Batman warned, “the ground is friable there—GOOD GOD!  ROBIN!  He’s gone!”

FX – popular abbreviation for effects, or special effects, in film and television.

Fyke – a fish trap held open with hoops.  No, really.

That’s all for today.  Enjoy your new words!

Should Amazon Sell a Manual for Pedophiles?

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UPDATE:

In response to overwhelming pressure to remove it, Amazon has taken down the offending book.   Good for them.  I’ll get into the problems with self-publishing in a later post and probably mention this ill-conceived, misspelled piece of garbage then.

See more about Amazon’s decision here.

Today I read something on MSN that I wasn’t quite sure how to take, but it involves censorship, a thorny issue for writers.

According to this article by Helen A.S. Popkin, Amazon is selling an e-book in its Kindle store about dealing with pedophila…from the pedophile’s point of view.

I won’t mention the title; you can find it in the article, and I don’t want to give the writer the attention, frankly.  The book apparently offers advice for people in adult/child sexual situations, to help make it safer for the pedos.

Amazon has defended its decision to sell this material by issuing a statement about why they refuse to take the book down.  It reads in part:

Amazon believes it is censorship not to sell certain books simply because we or others believe their message is objectionable.  Amazon does not support or promote hatred or criminal acts, however, we do support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions.

There’s a problem inherent in this.  Having sex with kids IS a criminal act, in every state.  Pedophilia is a paraphilia, a psychosexual disorder marked by abnormal and intense urges toward persons or things that fall outside the norm of sexuality.  Since children are not able to make viable decisions in this area, sex with kids is illegal.

But removing the book is technically censorship.   And nonfiction books describing other criminal acts or advocating questionable activities, even for entertainment-–The Anarchist’s Cookbook, George Hayduke’s Revenge books come to mind—aren’t restricted.

Where does that leave writers with something controversial to say, even if it’s horrifying?  And where should booksellers draw the line?

Amazon doesn’t sell porn in the Kindle store.  Is this book porn?  Bnet’s Style Inc. blogger Lydia Dishman reports that because it has no pictures or illustrations,  it doesn’t even qualify as child porn.  Thus, it’s breaking no laws and Amazon can’t be charged for selling it.

Booksellers have a right to carry whatever material they like, if they think they can sell it and they’re not running afoul of the legal system.  They can sell adult pornography, graphic crime novels and other fictional works describing the sexual abuse of children.  We as consumers are free to avoid or boycott the store or the writer if we like.

In my opinion, maybe the law is too lax on this kind of material.  I’ve seen child pornography (in a Citizen’s Police Academy course).  If I had to name the worst scourges on this earth, it would be right up there with genocide, war and slavery.  I can’t imagine anything instructing pedophiles on how to conduct these activities as acceptable in any context.  I’ve heard sexual abuse described as “soul murder.”  That’s what it is, and that’s what it does to kids who go through it.

Is it okay to talk about it? Well, yes, we have to, in order to save children from it.  There are good tips here for preventing child sexual abuse.  Children whose parents or guardians don’t pay much attention to them are prime pickings for pedophiles.

Is it okay to write about it?  Authors can write about anything they want.  I’ve read well-written books both fiction and nonfiction that contain scenes of child rape.  Makes me sick, but in the context of the narrative, the scenes were necessary to establish character motivation and show the degradation of a person’s psyche.

So should this book be taken down?  Amazon isn’t going to remove it.  They won’t take down the Holocaust denial books they sell either, even though they are illegal in certain countries.  It’s still okay in the United States to say it never happened, even if it makes you look like an idiot.

Barring certain wartime situations or yelling “Fire!” in a crowded theater when there isn’t one, one of our basic freedoms in the U. S. is the right to say or think whatever we want without fear of reprisal.  If we insist libraries, booksellers and authors restrict their content to that which is sanitary and uncontroversial, do we undermine that right?  I think we do.

As a writer, if you pen something questionable, remember we have this freedom.  But I would take this particular incident as an object lesson.  There are some subjects people feel extremely strongly about, and you must be prepared for a possible backlash if you choose to tackle them.

As a consumer, you control your money.  You can vote with your wallet.  You don’t have to buy the book or read it, and if you disagree with Amazon’s policy, you can walk away from them.  If you have knowledge of a crime committed against someone, you can report it (and please do).  Under the law, the fact that the book may be sick is not a crime.

I myself don’t plan to boycott Amazon because of this.  I won’t buy the book, I won’t mention the author’s name, I will exhort anyone not to buy it out of curiosity.  This twit might be able to publish it, but if it doesn’t sell, it will eventually vanish.

If you have an opinion about censorship in general, or about this particular issue with Amazon, feel free to share in the comments.  Please be respectful of others’ opinions. No personal attacks or your comments will be deleted.  It’s okay to disagree as long as we remember that we each have a right to do so.

Why Read It?

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Note to Readers:  I’m fast approaching my 100th post, and searching for something special to mark the occasion.  If anyone has anything they’d like to see me do, let me know in comments.  And no, I will not dress up like a bumblebee and sing the Lumberjack Song on video, nor do you want to see me naked.

Why do we read certain things?  What draws us to the type of material we read or write?

Stephen King, in the foreword to his story collection Night Shift, said that our brains have filters in them, and what catches in his filter might not be what gets hung up in that of another writer.  He used the example of standing at the edge of a pond with a famous Western writer and both are struck with an idea.  The Western writer’s might be about water rights in a dry season, while his would probably involve a creature in the pond carrying off animals and finally people.

I think this is true of readers too.  Certain genres attract some and repel others.  I enjoy horror fiction, but I know people who won’t touch it.  And one of my friends in college was an avid romance reader.  I’ve read maybe eight; I would reread three.  Just not my thing.

Perhaps one of the most puzzling genres is crime fiction.  I remember being flabbergasted several years ago to find out that it’s read by mostly women.  And the more violent the better.  Why is that?  We know men like action, car chases and kicking ass in movies. Why do mostly women read crime fiction?

First, more women than men read, especially fiction.  Why? The linked article by Eric Weiner gives some reasons, like girls being more verbal than boys, more in tune with emotions, etc.  More nonfiction is read by men.

Then there’s me; I’m a horror fan who likes David Morrell, Michael Palmer and Preston/Child also.  I read a ton of nonfiction.  And yes, I was born (and happily remain) female.

I never liked the armchair cozy detective stories, the Jessica Fletcher amateur sleuth secret unraveling books.  Films, television—same thing.  I prefer the dark side.  Good thing I’m not a Jedi, isn’t it?  My first novel is a police procedural with high levels of sex and violence.  I like this type of fiction because it’s escapist yet edgy.  It’s as fun to write as it is to read.  I don’t always like the happy ending.

Men are the primary perpetrators of violent crime, especially against women.  I think female readers are drawn to these books because it’s a subject we think about.  The perpetrator is caught, the CSI wraps things up nicely—not always the case in real life.  As potential victims, it’s something we live with every day.

We’re also interested in people.  My criminology classes in college had a large proportion of women in them.  And women are pretty tough about gross things.  We have to be; we’re the ones who clean up the poo, the blood and the puke at home, and break up the fights.  Stands to reason that we can handle a little grue or violence from time to time.

Crime novels are also entertaining. Vicarious badness?  Perhaps.  I know in writing my book, I enjoyed thinking like a bank robber, how I would conceal myself and avoid getting caught.  It was FUN.

Someone who reads romances is often stereotyped as a lonely spinster.  The truth is most readers of this genre are in relationships.  Are they happy ones?  I don’t know.  I like to think so; those with an open heart should be loved as they deserve.  A romantic soul isn’t necessarily a bad thing to have.

Note:  Men, if your lady is like that, you’re lucky.  She’ll always look for the hero in you.  Best appreciate that, or someone else will.  Ladies, don’t dismiss his efforts, even if they’re clumsy.  A regular guy trying to be romantic is better than a chiseled Fabio staring aloof into the distance.  A man who will hold your head while you puke and still think you’re sexy (though not maybe at that particular moment) is worth his weight in platinum.

Regardless of your tastes, you should read or write what appeals to you.  I wrote a book I wanted to write, the way I wanted to write it.  If it never gets published, fine.   Perhaps the next one will.  If my Detective Pierce becomes a series character, maybe I can make him do things we all want to do to the bad people of the world.  Or I can enjoy being them for a while.

What kind of books most appeal to you?  Which ones bore you to tears?  Please share in the comments.