You really did it, didn’t you, white America? We tried to tell you, but you fucked around and you’ll soon find out.
In book news, there are no plans to chuck anything, y’all. Assuming I’m not in Gitmo (!!!), I will still be writing so expect the third book in the Tuner Trilogy. It is progressing, albeit very slowly. I started a new job and I’m still getting used to that.
I will probably move distribution once the book is ready to come out. I don’t expect Amazon to go under, but assuming everything else doesn’t, I’d like you to be able to purchase elsewhere if you don’t want to do it there. If that happens, the covers will most likely get an upgrade. I would like to make them a little more cohesive (and better).
As long as I’m able, I’m not going to stop making art, and you shouldn’t either. Art is resistance; some of the world’s greatest masterpieces came out of tumultuous periods of history. It can allow you express yourself when you can’t do it directly and help you deal with stress, and put beautiful things into an ugly world.
Remember these words of wisdom from one of the oldest memes I can remember.
This was not about anything I did, and I wasn’t the only one it happened to. I’m trying to be positive about it, y’all, but it absolutely sucks.
This emoji.
I liked this job, and it paid enough for me to live here without worrying overtly about whether I could live here. Thanks to the Biden administration’s student loan forgiveness program (before SCROTUS canned it), I actually found myself with extra in my bank account.
I seriously lucked out finding my apartment from 1200 miles away, getting it in April and not August/Sept (typical apartment turnover time here because of all the universities), and having it right next to a bus stop with free, off-street parking (this right here is GOLD in Boston). Not to mention, I only pay for electricity and it’s so small it’s cheaper to heat and cool, much more than my drafty old albatross of a house.
Easter cactus my neighbor gave me. Dresses up the place.
The work did not impact my LD and tasks I have difficulty with other than my timesheet and planning how long it would take to do certain things. I could work from home, go into the office three days a week to have my own desk, and I liked all my coworkers. It’s the only place I’ve ever been laid off from that I would go back to.
Thanks to budget cuts, now I have to start all over again. Much like the 2016 401K rollover from Exjob and the 2019 payout from the sale of my Missouri house, both of which long-term unemployment and Covid completely devoured, the extra in my account is not going to last long here. I have to find something good, and fast. As much as I love Boston, like all cities in this white supremacist, corporate oligarchical country, officials would rather harass and displace unhoused folks instead of addressing the issues that caused them to be unhoused in the first damn place. I do not wish to join them.
WBZ CBS News Boston arial screenshot of tents belonging to unhoused people at Massachusetts Avenue and Melnea Cass Boulevard in Boston, Massachusetts.
I know Boston is bigger than OldCity and NewerOldCity, and there are more jobs here, and unemployment in the state is low. But I’m still limited in what I can do because of my stupid LD.
We’re fortunate this state has a better support system than Missouri, which will be critical because of a potentially serious health issue. I’m not going into it now — I don’t have any information yet, or if it’s even a thing, pending a medical test. I’ve applied for MassHealth and, should I be approved, it will kick in when my employer-controlled insurance expires at the end of the month, before the medical test is scheduled.
I never thought I’d have anything to thank that suck-up Mitt Romney for, but here we are.
Am I whining? Yes.
Am I justified in whining? YES.
Am I going back to Missouri? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I swore when I moved that this was it; I wasn’t going to move more than 20 miles again regardless of what happened. Besides, I like it here. There’s stuff to do, a lot of it free, and public transportation is a big plus. It’s by the sea, it’s packed with American history, AND there’s an Alamo Drafthouse. I decided I am going to see Deadpool & Wolverine anyway, although I might go to a regular theater instead so I won’t be tempted to spend $40 on food. Matinee tickets are usually cheaper.
And there’s this hilariousness (on the Green Line):
I don’t know why that’s so funny. It just is.
So I have to put my ass back out there. I will line up references — coworker said she would give me one, I have one in perpetuity from Toxic OldExJob, and my boss said she would give me a good one if anyone asks her. For what it’s worth, she did not look happy about the situation either.
Yesterday, I was numb. Today I’m angry and sad, and I feel like someone just broke up with me. (Also feeling mega petty—don’t expect me to be nice today.) I have to feel those feelings, and I’m going to indulge them for a short time. The rest of this week is not going to be good for much more than navigating the onerous bureaucracy of social support services.
I guess I have time to finish Book 3 now. But THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO DO IT.
I told you I was moving to Boston last time I posted. Well, I made it!
I don’t know what any of these buildings are but this view from the office deck is mega cool.
Photo: Elizabeth West
Thank you to everyone who donated to my GoFundMe. This would have been immensely more difficult without your assistance and would have taken much, much longer. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
But it had to be done. My life in Missouri had narrowed to a pinpoint of unsatisfying attempts at improvement, to absolutely no effect. I was born there, grew up there, and have friends and family there, but a change became necessary. When I found a job with a mostly remote team, a path opened up, and I took it.
I drove 1200 miles alone to my new place. It was the absolute worst and I will never do that again.
My road buddy.
Photo: Elizabeth West
Oliver was a trouper. He gave me no trouble. He required a bit more gas than usual due to the amount of crap I loaded him down with. I don’t actually need him to get around, but it’s nice to have him when I need to go shopping. There’s a Walmart in Walpole, which does require driving. My building has free off-street parking so he’s safe from random swerves. I’m grateful to have him. It only takes two-and-a-half hours to drive across Massachusetts, and New England is so compact that I can visit other states. New York City is only four hours away by train!
If anything happens to my baby boy, or if I can no longer drive, I can still get to work. Public transit — even the T, with all its faults! — is one reason I chose Boston. It takes me an hour to get to work this way, but I’ve read three whole books on the bus and the subway already.
Speaking of driving, if you visit and think you’ll just rent a car and zip around town, DON’T. The streets may or may not be paved-over cow paths, as the story goes, but you will lose your mind trying to get around. I can’t go anywhere without the GPS, I can’t come back the way I came, and there is not one straight road anywhere. In fact, it reminds me a lot of London, which isn’t so bad when you think about it. Also, there is NOWHERE TO PARK. Just come as you are and take the T — it’s easy.
Leaving Mom carried some angst. We lost my dad last year and her health is not good, but the possibility exists that she may decide not to stay where she is, and I’m sure she’s glad to have her space to herself again. (I have two other siblings within driving distance so don’t come at me.)
Despite the crazy streets and the fact that everything is expensive as shit, I like it here. I have a library card, a CharlieCard, and friendly neighbors. It’s been two months now and I’m finally almost entirely unpacked.
One reason it’s taken so long is that I had almost no furniture – I went from a 728-square foot house with a garage and a massive yard to not knowing where I’d end up, and I purged not only almost all my furniture but half my books as well. I still have some decluttering to do, but my living room no longer looks like the inside of the storage unit – hooray!
Home sweet home!
Photo: Elizabeth West
I finally have an actual sofa again — the bottom pops up into a bed. This will be Writing Central since my little desk in the kitchen is reserved for Job. Separation is key on remote work days, especially in a 450-square foot space.
Several years of unemployment and stress from that, the pandemic, and losing my dad and several friends hasn’t been great for my creativity. Doing something new is a good way to reboot your brain, as is a change of scenery. I haven’t actually been anywhere yet beyond my office and my neighborhood, but there is loads of time for that, since I’m not planning on going anywhere. This is it; I’m a Masshole now. The fact that it worked out so fast tells me it was supposed to happen. Why that is remains to be seen.
And now that my space is sorted, Book 3 of the Tuner Trilogy has recommenced. My head is back in Ilarrya, and we shall see what adventures befall Hannah, Chris, Josh, and the rest of the motley fish-out-of-water crew who went through the Martinsburg portal. Brinn, of course, was going home.
For now, nest ssem gehlent, mid ravdagen, und nesan achit thal prek ag in!*
*Translation: Until we meet, my friends, and don’t be a dick!
I began my new job on March 13. It’s been a bit of a rough start:
My training has been pushed back for reasons (nothing to do with me).
The commute, which normally would be 30 minutes, is 45-50 because of construction (I’m mostly working from home now).
Parking (safely) is more expensive than I expected.
Friday of my first week, I tripped on the curb going to the parking garage, fell, and gave myself a third-degree friction burn on my knee from the inside of my jeans. At least they didn’t rip. I’m fairly sure no one saw (I hope, lol).
Currently, I’m in the St. Louis office, but at the end of next month, I’m moving to Boston. I have an apartment secured and a moving pod scheduled. Now the list looks like this:
Empty out all my belongings from the storage place BY MYSELF
Cram them into the pod at the house BY MYSELF
Drive 1200 miles to my new place
Unload the pod up two flights of stairs (outside) BY MYSELF (Edit: I do have two guys for two hours on the other end; I hope it’s enough.)
All of this while also at work 40 hours a week. No, I did not receive any relocation assistance (it’s entry-level). The short timeline means that it’s going to be tough financially. If you would like to help, you can donate here.
No, I will not be driving to work in Boston. Unlike St. Louis, that is unnecessary; I can catch a bus across the street from my apartment to a train station, from which I will alight around the corner from my office. It takes about an hour but I can also work from home.
With trains and buses, you don’t have to worry about parking and you can sit and read (except at rush hour). The only time I ever get to ride public transport is when I go to the UK. I know it’s not perfect and MBTA is not TfL, but it’s so much easier (and cheaper, and better for the environment) than driving everywhere.
This is Faneuil Hall Marketplace downtown; it’s very close to my office.
In my head, things are happening. On paper, not so much. I’m trying to get this move over with ASAP so I can concentrate on writing. Once both my butt and my things are in place, a personal version of NaNoWriMo can commence.
Essdran will just be in the text with a glossary at the end as it was in Confluence, though the list of words and phrases will be longer since we’re actually in Ilarrya. There’s a map here along with a lost chapter from Tunerville you can download for free. I know how the book will end.
There may be a set or some kind of discount for all three books; I’m not sure yet. I would like to offer a box set of paperbacks. IngramSpark transfer and distribution did not happen yet but it will.
There’s one more thing I want to do when Book 3 is finished: to have a table at a con. I don’t know which one, probably something local and probably not until 2024. The first Tremendicon in Springfield was a blast—I would love it to be that one, but due to catching up moneywise, it might end up being something within driving distance. If anyone has any suggestions for small sci-fi/fantasy cons in New England, feel free to drop them in the comments.
I’m sorry this has taken so long, y’all. But . . . I have officially begun writing Book 3 of the Tuner Trilogy! Taa daaaah!
You might notice I changed the word count on the little widget in the Main sidebar of the blog. Before, I’d included some unconnected passages I wrote here and there, but as I’m not entirely sure I’ll use them, I decided to erase that count and start over. If I do use them, I’ll add their word counts in later.
So far, as of this post, the count is 3,118 and I set the total at 50,000 (NaNoWriMo length), although I expect this book to be much longer than that. It’s just an easier place to start. I’m not sure that widget is still working like it should.
I intended to make the conlang fully speakable, but if you want this story to end before I die, I think I might have to just translate the phrases in Book 3 and leave it at that. I can release that later if you want a world compendium.
Anyway, I worked all afternoon and I’m hungry so I’ll see you later. Whet nost (good night)!
I don’t have anything to say today except to post this, which I saw on Twitter. And to tell you to take time for self-care, whatever that may look like, because we will need strength to fight for our lives.
The tweet:
The text:
On June 24th, 2022 the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.
We’re sending love to all of our pregnancy-capable friends, family and loved ones. We are also scared for our LGBTQIA friends whose marriages, healthcare and safety are also called into question by this opinion. It is bad and it is going to get worse.
You may want to know how to help. I am sharing some good information and resources here for those who are interested.
What Will Happen Legally:
Abortion is no longer protected at the federal level. States are able to criminalize abortion care. Abortion will remain legal in many states and clinics will be providing care.
26 states are certain or very likely to completely ban abortion (see map below). This will result in an unprecedented public health crisis, on top of the one we already had going on, along with a rapid expansion of the criminalization of pregnant people.
What Will Happen In Your Communities, to People You Love:
Abortion is a sensitive issue for a lot of people. There are strong feelings about what others should and shouldn’t do, what’s “reasonable” or too far in terms of laws. But we’re not talking about feelings. This is about sending doctors to prison, about the government forcing people to submit to pregnancy and childbirth against their will.
We will not be returning to a pre-Roe scenario with “back-alley” abortions and coat hangers. Many abortion seekers will be able to self-manage their abortions using safe and effective FDA-approved medication abortion pills, even in hostile states. BUT, we also now have a much larger, more sophisticated law enforcement infrastructure that will surveill, prosecute, and punish people for abortions and pregnancy outcomes like miscarriages. In 2022, the risks are largely legal, not medical.
A lot of people will now need to travel out-of-state, often hundreds of miles, to obtain an abortion in a clinic. Because 50 states worth of people will be trying to access care in the remaining half of states who haven’t banned it, people will have to wait weeks or even months for an appointment. Everyone everywhere will now have difficulty accessing timely abortion care and associated care, such as miscarraige management, etc..
Most (75%) of abortion seekers are poor or low-income. Most (59%) are already parents. 1 in 4 pregnancy-capable people will have an abortion in their lifetime. You know and love people who have had abortions. If they haven’t told you, consider whether you seem like a safe person to tell. Take that to heart and care enough to change.
What Can You Do?:
The most impactful thing you can do at the moment is to donate money.I know, I know. If that isn’t an option or if you want to do more, organize other people to donate money. The coolest among you will become monthly donors–even of a smaller amount, because it provides a stable cash flow for organizations which are largely volunteer-run.
Here’s where it can go (bonus points if you do them all):
Give to local abortion funds in your state who help abortion seekers pay for procedures, made by the Abortion Link Fairy @helmsinki.
Give to independent clinics, who are not affiliated with Planned Parenthood, but provide 6 in 10 abortions in the U.S., including all abortion care later in pregnancy. Many clinics are struggling to stay open, to relocate, to support their staff and their patients. In states where abortion has been immediately banned, many are working to help scheduled patients travel, here’s one in Alabama.
Share good, accurate information so abortion seekers can obtain care:
Ineedana.com helps abortion seekers find a verified abortion provider and resources
Abortionfinder.org helps abortion seekers find a verified abortion provider and resources
Reprolegaldefensefund.org covers bail and funds strong defenses for people who are unjustly targeted by police or prosecutors for self-managing their abortion outside of a clinical setting
Share This: a cool guide @alisonturkos made with more ideas, options and info
Offer to Volunteer at a PSO, Fund, or your local clinic: Recently, someone I am close to volunteered to help a stranger from Texas traveling hundreds of miles away for care. They desperately needed someone local to check them in and out of a clinic. They were traveling alone and the clinic required a companion. It amounted to driving across town twice, not a big lift, but it meant that person could get the care they needed–it was potentially life-changing.
You’ll note that none of our recommendations include giving to well-funded orgs like Planned Parenthood, starting your own thing when these networks exist, fighting with people on the internet, or marching. Our informed advice is to prioritize mutual aid through local organizations.
Sure, But Then What?:
You may be wondering what we can do to fix all of this? Surely somebody has a plan!
There’s not much that can be done in the short-term other than helping people get care. There is no immediate political or legal solution due to the composure of the court, the makeup of the Senate, and GOP control of state governments. This will be our reality for a while.
The best we can do is really engage in state-level efforts, where abortion will be regulated (banned or protected): support the election of good state representatives, local prosecutors and judges who don’t want to criminalize abortion care or pregnancy outcomes. Support efforts to protect voting rights, trans rights, and to create alternatives to policing and punishment. Encourage prosecutors not to go after pregnant people.
To be clear, there is something to do in every state and not enough people doing it.
And finally, don’t despair.
Get mad, get engaged, get organized, but focus on constructive actions.
In the words of the PIC abolitionist, Mariame Kaba:
“Let this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair.”
If ever we need to have each other’s backs, it’s now.
July 2014, on his and Mom’s 50th wedding anniversary.
My dad is gone.
A week ago, he had a heart attack, most likely secondary to his ongoing diabetes. He was reluctant to go to the hospital, but my brother saw him while it was ongoing and persuaded him. On Friday, March 11, they took Dad for a scope test and he coded on the way back. They got him back after ten minutes or so, but he didn’t wake up. On St. Patrick’s Day, he slipped away peacefully without a struggle.
I got used to not seeing him much because of physical distance. It’s slowly sinking in that I never will again, until it’s my time to enter the Realm.
I love you, Daddy.
Job hunt is still ongoing. Book 3 is not on hold, but I have no bandwidth for it right now. I extract bits of the conlang and scenes here and there when I can and paste them into my SmartEdit Writer file. If you haven’t read Tunerville or Confluence yet, you can get them at boomkaartbooks.com.
Right now, everything sucks and I feel very unmoored, but don’t worry about me. I will be okay. It’ll be easier when I have a job and a new life to keep me busy. If you have a spare good vibe hanging around, I’d appreciate it if you’d send it to the Job Gods and tell them to get on it.
Tell the people you love that you love them, as often as you can.
As you can see from the bafflingly large (?! wtf WordPress) thumbnail in the sidebar on my homepage, Confluence is out!
Click on the picture to go straight to its Amazon page or visit boomkaartbooks.com/books. Tunerville is also on sale through Friday, September 17, just in case you haven’t read it yet (ebook only).
It’s just the ebook right now—a paperback is coming but not until I go through a proof copy. The preview looked okay, but you never know.
You can watch the trailer below. I have better software now and I think it turned out pretty good. I’m not happy with this being the thumbnail, but YouTube wouldn’t pull one from the first bit, so poo on them; it’s their fault. Neener neener!
I’m not sure what I’m going to do next. My conlang needs a LOT of work, and I want to write something else. I promised to finish this trilogy (and I will!). NaNoWriMo is coming up, but in my current situation, I don’t think I’m in the best place mentally to do it, unless I find a job and a place before then.
Y’all have no idea how bad this is. Really. The system is so broken. You can’t get a job unless you already have one, because if you don’t have one you’re not a desirable employee? I mean, what is that? Why would I need a job if I already have one?
I just need someone to give me a chance. :'( My creativity has taken a hit. All I can do is my best. I hope you enjoy the new book.
Behold, the cover for Confluence, Book 2 of the Tuner Trilogy!
If you follow me on Twitter at @DameWritesalot or at @BoomkaartBooks, now you know why I kept tagging it with a hole, haha.
There will be a paperback, a bit later but the e-book is imminent. I need time to order a proof copy of the PB to make sure everything prints properly. I did not do that with The Shiny Folk and was disappointed, but oh well, no one is buying that anyway. Anyway, my beta and hard-copy edits are done. Layout is done. The paperback cover is done—I can’t usually do that until I know how many pages it will be, since I have to use a template.
I am nervous, y’all. Ner. Vous. Even though I’ve done this twice now, I’m always scared I messed something up. But I can fix it. I have that power.
No sword, though. Alas.
Also, I think WordPress has jacked up their editor again. I can’t see headings now. They’re trying to force me to pay to upgrade and that is NOT going to happen. It can’t; I still do not have a day job.
I will make another announcement when the e-book goes live on Amazon. See you then!
Graphomaniac - A. Elizabeth West 