SWF, 40-ish, scrolling through the local dating site:

1.  Do not put a picture of your dog as your photo.

2.  Super Mullet!

3.  If you’re wearing a ball cap and holding a fish, no.

4.  Christ.  I’m a woman, not a women.

5.  Put your goddamn shirt back on.

6.  Who is the bitch in the picture?  If it’s your daughter, why is she in your dating photo?  Stand on your own.   If it’s not your daughter, HELL no.

7.  Why do so many men take MySpace pictures of themselves behind the wheel?  Unless you’re driving a Lamborghini, I don’t give a shit.

8.  I thought the bald head / goatee thing was out.  Guess not.

9. A karate stance would be more impressive if you weren’t wearing a dorky fleece jacket and cap, standing in front of a closet door.  Grow the hell up.

10.  That puppy is cute, but you ain’t.

11.  I’m not even looking at your profile if it doesn’t have a picture.

12.  You’re not him.

Breakups suck.