Category Archives: Art and Artists

Posts about artistic struggles and other artists’ experience with them

Zygote

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We’ve reached the end of the Alphabet Blog Challenge!  Thanks very much to Arlee Bird of tossing it out for proposing it to us.  I’ve found some new blogs to read.

Thanks also to everyone who stopped by to read mine.  I appreciate your comments.  I hope to see you back again soon!

I’ve been tested by posting every day.  Sometimes I’ve had to ask friends and colleagues for suggestions, and they’ve come through wonderfully.  I tried to acknowledge their suggestions.  I’ve decided to post at least three times a week and continue my tradition of Saturday’s post being about whatever I want.  If it’s a writing or art subject, fine; if not, I’ll try to make it entertaining.  But I won’t bore you with too much personal junk, I promise.

I call this post Zygote because if you use a baby as an analogy, that’s where my writing career is right now.  It’s not even into fetal stage yet.  I have only published one story so far, in my school literary magazine, but I count that.  It’s an unusual story; you can check it out on the Read Me page.  I liked it, and the editors of the magazine claimed they did also.

In the zygote stage, it’s easy to get discouraged.  Sending out queries or submissions with only rejections or no reply at all (another rejection) wearies a person.  But it’s the only way to do it.  It will pay off when (not if!) I get where I’m going.  I refuse to give up, because I’m nothing if not persistent.  Maybe I have no other purpose on this earth, but I can’t believe I’ve been given an ability I’m not meant to use.  In the meantime, I’m learning.

To succeed as a writer or artist, you must be able to admit that you don’t know everything.  I thought I was good and I’m not bad, but there is much I can do to make my work better.  You shouldn’t be afraid to seek out those things, whether it’s marketing advice or craft.

Learn as much as you can about the business end of things.  There’s a ton of info out there on the Internet.  Let’s face it; in today’s world, if you’re not on the Net you’re not going to be able to keep up.  Blogs, Twitter, Facebook, websites all help writers to gain readers and promote their work.

Most of those who have run the gauntlet that is the publishing process are kind enough to share the perils and pitfalls with the rest of us, and this little zygote is very grateful to them.  People have no idea how writing works, and publishing even less.  It makes doing the initial work to get your career off the ground that much more frustrating.

I’ll keep you updated on my journey.  Until then I’ll attempt to be as entertaining and informative as I can.  See you next time!

X-actly What I Need!

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I typed “X” into Google for today’s topic because the only word I had that began with X was xylophone.  I don’t play the xylophone!

Discovering that X-ACTO makes electric pencil sharpeners made me think about office supplies. You could lock me in a Staples with $10,000 and I could spend it all in no time.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE office supplies!

Writers use lots of office supplies.  Some we all need on a regular basis include:

  • Paper.  Probably the most used consumable item writers purchase.
  • Printer cartridges.  Expensive.  If you buy a laser printer, you will save money in the long run.  If you are making money from your writing, I think you can write off the expense on your taxes.  Alas, I spent $350 on a huge commercial laser printer and haven’t recouped the cost yet, but someday I will.  The advantage is it came from a company that will service it in my house if something goes wrong, unlike retail.
  • Pens, pencils.  Not so much anymore, unless you enjoy writing longhand.  With laptops and netbooks, who needs to?
  • Envelopes.  Catalog size for manuscripts, #10 for SASEs, business correspondence and invoicing.
  • Business cards.  Not strictly an office supply, but something a professional writer should have.
  • Shipping supplies. Being hopeful, I bought a bundle of nice, inexpensive plain boxes for mailing manuscripts.  No one’s asked yet.  Nuts!

Not everyone uses these, but they come in handy:

  • Markers. You can use different colors when editing your manuscript, to mark repetition, clichés, typos, things you like/dislike, etc.  This lovely idea came to me courtesy of Renni Browne and Dave King’s book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers.  Besides, who doesn’t like markers?
  • File folders / cabinets. Unless you’re a die-hard digital devotee who immediately scans and backs up everything that crosses your desk, you no doubt have paper copies of rejections, manuscripts, correspondence, articles ripped from magazines, notes, etc.  You need somewhere to put them.
  • Sticky notes and page flags. They come in lots of colors.  I use them to mark pages in books when I’m researching, mark the stopping point in a hard-copy manuscript when I go back to work (I have to edit on my lunch hour sometimes), and to remind myself to do stuff.
  • Stackable letter trays.  I have seven of the plastic ones.  I keep things like envelopes, labels and those plastic sleeves in them.

Office supplies get expensive.  Look for coupons and sales.  Sometimes discount stores have cheaper versions of stuff like sticky notes.  The name brands are usually priced higher.

Check the flea markets.  I know that sounds wacky, but I found those letter trays there for a dollar each.  They retail around five or six bucks.  Pack rats will occasionally clear out their closets and stick all those lovely supplies in their booths.

I also found a leather padfolio with the name of a local hospital embossed on it (probably some kind of employee premium) and a pen for only four dollars.  It even had a blank legal pad inside.  I’ve seen address books, refillable appointment books / Dayrunners, and all kinds of notepads for next to nothing.  And you’re trying to set up an office, the flea market can be a great place to find cheap furniture.  Plus, you’re recycling!

If you love office supplies and have found a great way to save on them, or just want to list your favorites, please share with us in the comments.

Sturgeon’s Law

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Sturgeon’s Law is an adage that states “Ninety percent of everything is crud.” It is attributed to science fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon, who said it in response to numerous attacks on sci-fi’s literary merit by people who used terribly-written books as examples to prove their point.

What he was trying to say was that yes, there is crud, but in everything, not just sci-fi.  If everything contains a certain percentage of awesome, then what’s left must be crud.  If you apply the Law to current films, it’s pretty hard to find gems among all the floaters out there in that great big Hollywood Bowl, which kind of proves Mr. Sturgeon right.

Why do people read / watch crud?

I’m not saying there’s anything WRONG with it.  Some people might think when my books get published that they’re crud. They’re entitled to their opinion.  If I could make a boatload of money writing crud, I probably won’t care that much.  But I’d like to produce something worthwhile while I’m at it.

Why do people buy it?

I’m not completely sure myself, but I’ll take a stab at it.  I think there are several reasons.

1.  It’s entertaining.

Campy crud TV shows are hilarious.  Movies too.  Who hasn’t watched a terrible horror film with a ridiculous monster and improbable story and howled with laughter?  It’s fun.  Even more enjoyable is making sport of the movie after you’ve seen it.   A cruddy novel is a rip to pick apart too.  Witness all the sites making fun of Twilight.  And some crud, done cleverly as satire, makes fun of us.  Example:  Idiocracy’s portrayal of a dystopian society as the result of the dumbing-down of America.

2.  It’s familiar.

Usually crud relies on tropes everyone has seen a thousand times.  A valiant dog.  The innocent child walking unknowingly into danger.  The misunderstood villain.  A hooker with a heart of gold.  The valiant dog rescues the innocent child from the misunderstood villain and changes the life/outlook of the hooker with the heart of gold, and then dies.  Always prettily—never in a mangled heap of flesh by the side of the road.

3.  It doesn’t require any thought.

At the end of the day, after leaving their soul-murdering, life-sucking slogging jobs, people are tired.  They want a bit of entertainment they don’t have to think about, without deep moral quandaries or philosophical implications.  All they want is a cold root beer, a taco and a bit of escapism.

4.  It makes them feel smarter.

When you watch a movie or read a novel where everyone is a complete idiot, doesn’t it make you feel smarter by comparison?  Let’s say the hero’s flunky hears the zombie gurgle from the locked broom closet, and instead of leaving and setting the house on fire, he opens it.  You yell, “Don’t open that door!” Or you think, “I would never do that!”  And because he’s the flunky, you figure he’s going to die.  If he’s wearing a red shirt, you know it.  You might even think “I can do better than that.”

If you can, get cracking!

For writers, it’s pretty frustrating to work like hell on something crafted to be clever and original and engaging, meticulously edit it, flawlessly present it, and still lose out to another brainless marketing trend.  I can only imagine what screenwriters are going through right now.

Don’t feel bad if you enjoy a bit of crud now and then.  I myself have a taste for old B-movies, horror in particular.  It Came from Beneath the Sea, Bucket of Blood, The Fly (1958), all great fun.  I can still appreciate Mr. Sturgeon’s fine writing and that of Emile Zola, Mark Twain and the poetry of Shelley and Dickinson.

What’s your favorite crud TV show / movie / book?  Why?  And what’s your favorite “smart” material?  Please share in the comments.

Jitterbug

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Let’s face it; public speaking sucks.  To get up in front of a group and extemporize is many people’s worst fear.  What if I trip and fall? What if no one listens to me? What if I say something stupid and they all laugh? Scary, no?

Anyone who performs in any capacity has to deal with stage fright.  Your mouth gets dry, your fingers tremble and your knees quake.  Your guts twist in a knot and you feel like you did when someone told on you in third grade and the scary teacher’s cat’s-eye glasses skewered you to the wall.

Writers have to speak sometimes.  They speak in front of groups, in interviews, teach classes or lead seminars, participate in Career Day activities, and of course, read their own work.  If you are a shy person unaccustomed to public speaking you may be paralyzed.

You’ll be fine.

Mostly, the people you will be talking to will want to hear what you have to say.  Even if they don’t, act as if they do.  There’s an old saying:  fake it ’til you make it.  A famous skating choreographer, Ricky Harris, told us when we attended a class she taught at our rink, “If you smile like you mean it, pretty soon you will mean it.”   She’s right.  People will be more amenable to you if you smile at them, and some might even smile back.

I’ve been performing since I was five, so I have an advantage over someone who may never have even sung in the church choir.  I still have moments where the Jitterbug gets hold of me, mostly when I’m in a class and have to go to the board, or right before I skate a show or a test.  The tricks of the trade are these:

  • Take deep breaths.  Try the technique I told you about in Freak Out, Baby! Slowly in through the nose, out through the mouth.
  • Be prepared.  Make sure before you arrive at your engagement that your notes are in order, you have the right piece you’re supposed to present, and any handouts are included.  You might want to read your piece aloud to yourself, your family, the cat, etc. so you’re comfortable with your material and any words whose pronunciation is unfamiliar.  Double-check if you’re unsure.  Usually online dictionaries have a pronunciation feature; just click on it and a voice will say the word.

Pronunciation, you say? Wouldn’t I know the words I used? Well, I once said “succumb [suh-KUHM]” as “soo-cyoom” and sent my mother into gales of laughter.  Okay, she didn’t actually laugh at me but it was still embarrassing.  I knew what it meant and how to spell it, but I had no earthly clue how it was pronounced.

  • If you’re doing a PowerPoint presentation, get there early and make sure all the equipment you’ll need is set up and ready.  Cables, computers, screens, etc.  It’s convenient to carry a presentation on a flash drive if you’re not using your laptop.  Wear it on a lanyard so it won’t get lost if you’re traveling.
  • Smile at everyone!  If you get a chance, say hello to them as they are being seated.  Sometimes you won’t get to until you actually take the stage.  In that case, begin with a smile and a friendly greeting, like “Hello, it’s very nice to see you all here today.  Thank you for coming.”
  • An old stage trick is to look out just above the heads of the audience.  Everyone will think you are looking at them in particular, especially if you don’t stare blankly right down the middle.  Some lecturers like to look directly at random audience members and smile warmly as they are speaking.  You can practice this; if it’s too scary, don’t worry about it.
  • If you don’t have a microphone, remember to project, so that people sitting in the back can hear you.  Take in air deeply from your diaphragm, and intensify your voice so it travels out from your body and through the room.  Don’t shout or force it.  Imagine your voice rising on a column of air that goes up until it reaches your mouth, and through a megaphone as it leaves you.  Still confused?  See if you can get a theatrical friend to help you with this.

Remember to relax and not fret before your appearance.  There are websites all about public speaking, and you can get help from anyone you know who does it.  Take a speech class or ask a friend to pretend to interview you.  The Jitterbug thrives in the dark, moist caverns of fear deep inside your mind.  Drag him kicking and screaming into the light, and like most creatures of the night he will self-destruct.

If you have any hints or tips on dealing with the Jitterbug, please share them in the comments.

Ambition: Why I Would Kill to Be Published!

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I have begun a blog challenge!  arlee bird at tossing it out has challenged bloggers to write a post a day, except Sundays, through the month of April.  Each post will begin with a letter of the alphabet, in order from A to Z.

I wasn’t sure what to write for today.   A chat friend of mine suggested this post’s title in a moment of levity and I had nothing else, so I went with it.  I don’t think I ever really thought about this.  I just assumed that if I were going to be a writer, eventually I would publish.  Why do it if no one is going to read it?  There are people who write purely for their own enjoyment, or for a very small, select group of readers, but why beat your head against the brick wall of publishing for what could be a small return in terms of money, time and recognition?

These might be some reasons.  Are they mine?

  • Money.  If you want to get rich writing, it doesn’t generally happen.  I hear tell you can make a living at it though, and that would be fine for me.  A bestseller would be nice (or a string of them!), but I think I’d rather be comfortable than dripping with wealth.  If it happens, I’m not going to say no.  Realistically, I’m not expecting it.
  • Prestige and/or credits.  Being published is an accomplishment.  For fiction writers, it can be terribly difficult to break in.  Technical experts who do pieces for trade magazines, freelance article and content writers and copywriters have a ready market for their work, if they take the time to network and seek clients.  Fiction is subjective.  It has to appeal to a publication’s readers or fit the market up to a year ahead for books, a tough thing to predict.  If you’re trying to write as a career, a published credit is good.  I have almost nothing on my resumé right now and it’s disheartening.

There is a myth that you must be published to get published.  I have heard countless writers say on their blogs that THIS IS NOT TRUE!  Everyone has to begin somewhere, even if it’s an article about cows on the back page of Local Farming Monthly. One science fiction and fantasy writer with a long and impressive list of books published told attendees at VisionCon last year that he started out writing erotica!

  • Attention.  This can be a good or bad thing.  If you’re comfortable doing presentations of your work, or being interviewed or even lecturing on your subject if your research is extensive, then you’ll probably be fine.  If not, you won’t be comfortable with the marketing part of the business.
  • A chance to be heard.  I kind of like this one.  I often feel that no one listens to me and I would love it if people not only read my work but discussed it.  Not diss it, however.  I’d rather not have a book club making fun of me the way some people make fun of Twilight.  Which is fun, by the way.  No, I’m kidding.*

You can avoid this by working obsessively on your craft.  I already covered that in my post Unneccesary Roughness.  Practice and the willingness to learn will never be a waste of time.

  • Love of writing.  Yes, I do love it.  I greatly missed it when I was bogged down in schoolwork.  I like the challenge of creating characters and moving them through their worlds and coming up with things for them to do.  It’s fun to put down my dreams, fantasies and the imaginings I enjoy when stuck in line somewhere or in the doctor’s waiting room.  I’m lucky to be able to articulate them.  I hope you enjoy them; that is, if they are ever published!

I don’t think I would kill to be published—that would be a bit extreme.  The more I learn about the business, the tougher the challenge seems, but the better equipped I feel to meet it.  Thanks to already-published writers out there who are kind enough to share their insights, struggles and advice on craft and the journey to publication, we UNPUBs know better what to expect.  I would especially like to thank Anne Mini, Anne Wayman and Nicola Morgan, aka the Crabbit Old Bat!

If you have any thoughts to share about this subject, please post them in the comments.

*not!

Patience

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So sorry I made you wait for a new post.  It’s been a busy week.  Sad to say, I haven’t gotten a great deal of writing done, but Life intruded.

This weekend I flew out of state to visit a new friend.  Trying to save a little money and maximize our time together, I decided to leave from a larger airport and to do so very early in the morning.  I figured at five a.m. no one is likely to be going anywhere, right?

Wrong!  The line going through security was incredible.  It began at the bottom of the stairs and stretched around the corner and all the way down an interminable hallway, where it snaked back and forth for a few roped-off sections before spilling out into the security area.  I was frustrated beyond belief, glancing at my watch and shifting my feet, about to cry.  I had not only packed properly, but limited myself to one carry-on, my purse and a gift bag.  I wasn’t even checking a bag and still got caught in this mess!

I made it through security in thirty seconds flat, jammed my shoes and jacket back on and ran to my gate, only to find my flight had closed ten minutes before.  After a reroute, an extra changeover and a couple of infuriating weather-related delays, I made it.  I only lost four hours with my friend instead of the entire weekend.  That was a long four hours though, especially the last delay.

Patience is a great virtue for a writer.  You have to wait to hear back from a query (if you ever do), wait for research subjects to get back to you, fight the frustration of writer’s block or the race to finish a piece.  I hear tell money can be slow coming in.  Any freelancer knows about that one.  And then there is the long, slow slog toward being published.  For most people, it can take years.  That’s where patience really comes into play.  If you’re the type to give up easily, this is not the career for you.

I’m easily frustrated and impatient as hell, but when it counts I can stick to it like nobody’s business.  No matter what, I’ll keep trying.  If I truly enjoy someone’s company and the feeling is mutual, then I’ll hang through thick and thin.  If I like what I’m doing, I’m much more likely to keep doing it.  That’s not a problem here.  I love writing, so I do it even if no one reads it.  Of course, after years of keeping it to myself the time has come to put it out there.  And so another round of patient waiting begins.

Unlike waiting for a plane, waiting for a break in writing is an evolving thing.  While you exercise that patience there is much to do.  Practice makes perfect.  Your craft demands that you continually improve.  Lessons and exercises, journal entries and posts, editing and drafting and scouring agent websites and synopses and queries will fill your time.  And of course, writing.  Always writing.

Keep doing it.  As you wait and write, you will build an oeuvre, a body of work that even if unpublishable will show you how far you’ve come.  You’ll go back and look at your old stuff and laugh, perhaps cringe at an awkward POV or lack of scene breaks.  You’ll come across a phrase or passage so good it inspires something new.  You’ll read the work of others and growl jealously even as you feverishly thumb through white-hot pages, or laugh delightedly at a fresh turn of phrase.  Then you’ll hit the page again yourself in a frenzy of creation.  The wait is its own reward.

Shiny New

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Today I made a red lentil dahl, an Indian dish composed of lentils with spices cooked in oil.  The recipe didn’t call for them, but I added onions because I like them, and used minced garlic instead of garlic powder.  I also used red lentils instead of brown.  I like brown but I didn’t want to wait for them to cook.  I’m not very knowledgeable about Indian cuisine, but I like to experiment a bit.  The recipe, which I found online, was quite tasty even though the poster said it wasn’t strictly authentic.  Not all my culinary adventures turn out well, but this one did.  Now my house smells like cumin.

It’s good to try new things.  Writing in different genres and forms is the only way you will discover which ones fit best.  Some experiments might not be successful, but where would we be if we didn’t try?

Poetry, for example, isn’t my strong point, but every once in a while I do come up with something.  I envy those who write strong verse, whether it rhymes or not.  Good poetry has a rhythm, a power to it that goes beyond the words.  You can feel it in the best stuff even when you read it to yourself, and it’s spectacular when spoken.  I’m afraid mine isn’t that good.  Yes, okay, here’s an example.

Shining like a new penny, in pocket black

Tell me where the hiding place is

For your deepest feelings.

Tell me what is lurking in the darkness of your soul

Or do you even know?

Is it worth the copper glow?

Or is it dull and ordinary, telling by its smudgy worn texture

How many times you have taken it, and worried it,

And tried to give it away?

How many times was it returned to you, and

Did you polish it again

Before you tried to give it to me?

I don’t know or care who held it or how long it wandered.

I’ll take it and hold it,

If you give it freely,

If you love with all your heart.

That was the result of a writing exercise using a cliché, in this case “new penny.”  The point of the exercise was to use words in a new way, ascribing meaning to them through metaphor or interpretation, and made them fresh.  For me, poetry is playing.   I don’t know if I succeeded, but it was fun.

New forms and expressions enrich your work, and trying new things in life do the same.  There is research and there is doing something or experiencing something firsthand, like making dahl.  If I were to write about an Indian woman cooking for her family, I would need to know not only how her food is prepared, but what it smells like, how it tastes, its texture and color.  If I have never experienced Indian cuisine, I would not know these things.  Telling readers about the recipe is fine, but no description beyond that doesn’t give the writing any real flavor (pardon the pun).

Not all writers work this way.  Bram Stoker, author of Dracula, wrote authentically about Transylvania without ever having been there.  For some people and subjects, research will suffice but for others, knowing is better.  I prefer to have a little feel for what I’m writing about.  I have a story lurking in the back of my head about a mountain climber.  I’ve learned a few things about climbing but have never attempted it.  It’s something I would like to try, if I could get over my fear of heights, but given that it’s an expensive sport and there are no real mountains where I live, this one is going to have to wait.  The sport is simply too technical to describe without attempting to learn more.

Besides authentic detail, trying new things enriches you.  It keeps your brain working and stretches your emotional range.  All this makes your writing better.  You don’t have to be a closeted recluse to write.  Get out there and live.

Please share in the comments how your experiences have translated well into your art.

Places

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Check out some famous people’s workspaces:

http://lifehacker.com/5367129/nine-workspaces-where-famous-folks-get-stuff-done

Some people say they can write anywhere.  They prove it by sitting in public with their laptops while life goes on around them, sometimes noisily, happily tapping away or even scribbling in a notebook with an old-fashioned ballpoint pen (mercy!).  Others must have complete silence, or at least its approximation, and an isolated room before they can concentrate.

The space doesn’t matter, as long as it’s compatible with the individual writer’s needs.  If you have a family you may have to adopt a room or an alcove in a busy house and call it your own and make a rule about when Mommy’s door is shut, she is not to be disturbed.  Conversely, if you live alone, you can move around the house or even take the laptop in the backyard without fear of being disturbed.  You can write in a treehouse, if that’s the best place for you.

What are some of the elements that make a good writing space?

  • It should be comfortable.  Whether that means a nice squishy office chair, all blanketed up on the couch or in bed, or the recliner in the den, you shouldn’t have to think about physical discomfort when you write.  The temperature should not be extreme; too cold and you can’t type, too warm and it’s hard to concentrate.
  • Your supplies should be at hand.  I learned this in college when writing papers.  Most people who have a dedicated office already have everything organized.  If you are making do with a corner of the kitchen or family room, make sure before you start that your materials are right there.  It’s a pain to have to get up and fetch a book or load the printer.  Check before you sit down so interruptions stay at a minimum.
  • Not too cluttered.  It’s hard to work amidst piles of teetering pages, books, scattered receipts, rolling pencils, etc.  The mess starts to get to you and you might stop working and start cleaning.  Or, you could end up berating yourself for your lack of organization and retire in self-defeat.
  • Noise levels.  I work better when I have something to ignore, usually music or sometimes the TV, set on low.  You might want a more quiet space, or enjoy playing thrash metal while you pen your latest tome.  Doesn’t matter if it’s loud or soft; whatever helps you get into your trance state.  If you like working in public, your tolerance to noise is probably pretty good.
  • Good lighting.  You can’t work if you can’t see, and straining your eyes will give you a headache.  If you work on a computer, take frequent breaks from looking at the screen.  Even moving your eyes to a different part of the room will give them ease.  Don’t make the screen too bright, either.  Most computers let you adjust that either on the monitor itself or in the Control Panel.

You know to print out a hard copy for editing, right?  Not only will it rest your eyes, but people cannot read effectively on a computer screen for a length of time.  (Kindles aren’t the same, or so I hear.  I wouldn’t know because I’m not spending $400 on something I can’t take into the tub with me.)

All of this holds true for homework, if you’re a student.  A good study space will help your grades immeasurably.  My writing center is on the couch, under a blanket, with the TV on and music playing in my headphones.  I used to do homework there before I finished school.  I can adapt; I’ve written at work, at lunch and at my desk during downtime.  The headphones are a must so I can block out any noise from outside or other people, like in the lunchroom.

I haven’t tried working in a coffee shop or other public venue; I might when I get a smaller netbook with a better battery.  For now, the couch is comfy and since I don’t have a roommate or spouse at the moment, it’s easy to concentrate.

Wherever you work, remember that it is your sacred space, to be used for writing only if you can manage that.  If you keep it so, when you sit down you’ll be ready to go.  If you don’t have a dedicated space, have preparations that get you into the groove.

What’s the best place for you to work and why? Let us know in the comments.

Push

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Inside your head is a space that waits to be filled with light.  Or darkness. The rushing wind and the clatter of leaves before a storm. The clang of swords and shouts of frightened men battling for their lives.  The boom and cough of ocean waves and the salt spray upon your lips.

When the space is empty, you despair.  Your mind chases itself, a hamster on a wheel, racing frantically toward nothing.  And the Nothing swallows your elation, blows a noxious fog of desperation over the rest of your thoughts, leaving you desolate.

It comes out in anger, in tears.  The people around you tiptoe; don’t upset her, they whisper.  Don’t ask her about the book, they caution.  They don’t want you to blow.  Sometimes they don’t know what’s wrong and they tell you to cheer up, or get a grip on yourself. But you have one, an achingly tight grip, squeezing your brain until the last drop of inspiration hovers at the very edge before it falls…

…onto an empty page.

Can you push out the drop? Can you make yourself birth a masterpiece? The answer has eluded greater minds than yours.  A walk in the snow, you think.  Never mind the darkness, the night.  No one will be out so it will be nice and quiet and you can think.  That will engage those rusty gears. So you pull on boots, wrap yourself in a scarf and mittens, button your coat and make your way outside.

The snow crunches beneath your feet.  Somewhere you heard that the sound it makes will tell you how cold it is; is it higher when it’s colder, or lower? You can’t remember so you keep going.  You hear an occasional car grinding by, but it is far away. You can’t see it and it’s not loud enough to muffle the sound of your footsteps.  It’s very quiet, and even though you are surrounded by houses and people, you feel completely alone.

It’s so pretty, and then the clouds bellied low over the landscape unleash another scattering of flakes.  The snow whispers as it falls.  It has a sound, but you didn’t know that before.  You stop and listen and the flakes fall gently on your upturned face.  Like the child you still are deep inside, you open your mouth and let them melt on your tongue and you’re instantly transported to your backyard, and the first snowfall of the season.  Your mother bundled you up and smiled into your eager face before she turned you out into the icy wonderland.  “Don’t stay out too long,” she cautioned.

Good advice.  The cold is beginning to seep through your mittens. Strange that you didn’t notice back then.  Now you feel the slight damp and a numbness settling into your feet. You should turn back, but the snow is so pretty, like glitter falling from the sky and sparkling in the streetlight.  You stand and watch for a moment more.

The growl of a snowplow begins to swell behind you, and the moment is broken. In your mind, in the space, is the image of the glittering snow hurtling inexorably down through the night, catching the light and shedding it just as quickly as it leaves the cone of the streetlight’s glow.  You take it with you and as your chilled fingers fumble with your buttons and you drop your wet boots on the mat by the door, it remains along with the whispered hiss of the snow.  Your cocoa steams but you are far away.

How was your walk? You don’t answer; you’re deep in the image. Ah, they say. She’s musing. Don’t bother her.  She’s gearing up.  And you are.  The rusty machine begins to creak and groan, and starts to turn.  Soon you approach the page and the cocoa sits cooling, forgotten as your tingling fingers tap furiously on the keys, forgetting your earlier anguish, chasing the image through the space in your mind, filling it.  It flows up and out and there is more to follow.  It has begun again.

Yes, you can push it.  And you must, if you are to write.

Geek Heaven

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Yesterday I attended a sci-fi/fantasy gathering called VisionCon, held annually at a hotel near me.  It’s a small con and meets in January because most of the larger ones get dates in the warmer months.  This is not the first con I’ve been to, but only the second time I’ve attended this one.

The first thing you notice upon entering one of these things is a wall of sound.  It’s almost palpable:  a cacophony of excited voices, toy phasers beeping, laughter and bits of music floating here and there.  People wander about, some dressed up, and others wearing what appear to be fairly normal outfits.  Look closer and you’ll see Batman and Zim on their shirts, skulls, daggers and fantasy elements in their accessories and many, many tattoos.  I was sorry it was January and I wore a long-sleeved sweater; next time, I’ll brave the cold and expose the beautiful Hogwarts crest tattoo that emblazons my upper left arm.

Then there are costumes.  People dressed as Stormtroopers, Jawas, hobbits, animals, superheroes, villains and pirates.  They stroll leisurely through the dealers’ room with their cronies, sometimes in character.  In between film showings, I went to the vending machine for a bottle of water and a small person (boy or girl? I wasn’t able to tell) dressed in a gold bodysuit that covered it from head to toe stumbled in, ricocheted off the walls and tumbled to the floor.  It flopped around for a minute and then got up and went back into the hallway, presumably to join its companions.

I’m not sure what this person was meant to be; I’m not a die-hard sci-fi fan, although it resembled something from the Star Trek: TNG episode “Transfigurations.”  It says something about my geekiness that I simply glanced over, said “Hi,” and continued to plug coins into the machine as though nothing were happening.  At a con like this, such things are not unusual.

A compelling reason for me to attend was the chance to speak with other writers.  Last year they held several panels about publication, which were enlightening for a newbie like me.  This year I caught a reading by Shane Moore, author of the Abyss Walker fantasy series.  A ticket drawing at the reading produced my name from the fishbowl, and I won a copy of the first book in the series, autographed of course.  Yay!

Brian Keene, a terrific horror writer I met last year, was there along with Wrath James White, whom I had not.  They were great to hang and talk with, and they urged me to attend an event that has become a fixture at WorldCon but was new to VisionCon called the Gross-Out Contest.  An adults-only venue, horror writers compete to see who can disgust the audience the most with extreme and highly imaginative tales of gore, grue, slime, puke, shit and sexual congress with these and other foul things.  I made the mistake of telling Brian, Wrath and contest participant John Horner that I could not be grossed out.  Much to my surprise, I was recruited from the audience and dragged up onstage to serve as one of the judges!

Each contestant was given points on performance, grossness of the subject matter and audience reaction.  I wasn’t sickened (as a longtime horror fan, I’m inured to that stuff), but I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.  At the end of the readings, our markings were tallied up and the winner and four-time previous champion, Cullen Bunn, took his bows.  I won’t tell you what his story was about.  Truly, you had to be there.  If they have this again next year and I’m around, I might be tempted to try it myself.

I shared a beer after the Gross-Out with the writers and was able to ask Brian some questions about movie rights, and hear a little industry gossip. The cons are a good networking opportunity for genre writers.  If you can make it to them, the connections (and the fun) are worth it.

Check out some of these guys.  That is, if you think you can take it!

The camaraderie at these conventions is just amazing.  You couldn’t meet a nicer group of people than those who share your interests.  Fellow Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, comic book and Harry Potter fans abound and it’s almost impossible to go to a con and not connect with someone.  I met a really nice group from Kansas City who welcomed me for a brief pizza party in their hotel room, and I hope to keep in touch with them and even travel there at some point to hang with their Star Trek club.  I’m looking forward to that and hoping that we might meet up at a future con, if I can ever make it to any of them.

People think geeks and nerds are unsociable; this couldn’t be further from the truth.  We are the most friendly, welcoming, highly creative pack of weirdoes you’ll ever meet, and it’s because a shared passion for whatever we’re into spills over onto those around us.  We’re happy to recruit you into our Star Trek club, to share Dr. Who episodes with you and induct you into the world of anime and Lovecraftian horror.  Let us teach you magical spells from Harry Potter.  Your inhibitions will soon melt away and you’ll be free to indulge your inner child and continue that game of make-believe that so charmed you when you were very young.  We’ll never grow up, and we don’t want you to either.

You will be assimilated; resistance is futile.  There is no escape. And when you return to your stuffy nine-to-five world and your coworkers ask you why you are smiling, be secure in the knowledge that there are other worlds than these.