Eggscuse Me!

Behold the humble egg.  Yes, it’s green, because it came from an Araucana chicken.  These South American birds lay yellow, green, blue and pink eggs.  No, really.  Here’s a picture I snagged off the Internet:

I used to raise these with an ex, and it was great fun gathering colored eggs of an evening.  You had to have a mix of hens to get the different colors.  The yellow ones were really cool-looking.  Farm eggs from a chicken that spends its entire day outside eating grass and bugs taste ten times better than store eggs.

I was shuffling around the grocery store looking for something vaguely healthy ($6.50 for a bag of Gala apples? Really? I think NOT) and trying to avoid the cookie aisle.  When I remembered I needed eggs, I got to thinking about how great they are.

How could something that comes out of a chicken’s ass taste so delicious and be so good for you?

Eggs are incredibly cheap protein, nutritious and infinitely versatile.  They contain:

  • Vitamins A, B, and D—skin, eyes and bones
  • Selenium—vital mineral
  • Choline–good for your brain
  • Riboflavin (B2)— cell food
  • B12—nerves and blood cells need it
  • Lutein and zeaxanthin–keeps your eyes healthy

You can boil them, scramble them, fry them, bake them, devil them, put them in stuff, make decorations out of the shells (eggery is a well-respected craft).

My favorite way to eat eggs is scrambled.  I make the fluffiest, cloud-like scrambled eggs you ever had.  I don’t put cheese on them or dump veggies in them.  That’s for omelets.  The eggs must be whipped with milk and poured into a dry pan, then allowed to heat up slowly and lovingly teased back and forth with a spatula.  Continuous turning and fluffing is the secret.

When they are almost finished, drain the liquid from the milk and gently scoop the little egg clouds onto the plate, where you may add a little salt and pepper.  Careful, not too much.  The flavor is delicate and the texture sublime.   No flat puddles folded into a crusty mass like you get in a skeezy diner.

Second only to the poofy delight of scrambled would be poached.  I have, in my entire life, found only two restaurants that can poach an egg to my satisfaction.   The white cannot be runny or it is like eating—well, I won’t say it in case you’re eating.  It must be firm, and the yolk still liquid.  Cut up that egg with a spoon in a little bowl and enjoy its slippery, soupy goodness.

Deviled eggs are called that because they are the devil to make.  No, I don’t think that’s right, but it’s how I feel.   I love them and would eat them every day, but I hate making them.  So I usually buy them from the grocery store deli.

Same with hard-boiled.  For some reason I can’t boil an egg to save my life.  I’ve tried everything—cookbooks, timers, hot to cold water, you name it.  Save your advice.  It won’t work.  Again with the deli.  Two hard-boiled hen fruits make a good lunch, cut up on a salad or eaten out of hand on the side.

As a poor college student and later as a poor adult with a crappy job, I ate (eat) a lot of eggs.  Along with lentils, they’re one of the more economical and healthy foods you can buy.  Hit the expired bakery rack for bread to toast and you’re cruising.

Do you like eggs? If so, what’s your favorite way to eat them?  If you don’t like them, why not?  Besides the chicken’s ass thing, of course.

4 thoughts on “Eggscuse Me!

  1. Oh I love little fresh green eggs! I had an egg hatching project in my classroom one year. It was great for the city kids to see and learn about that breakfast food. The only trouble was only 1 chick lived of the 8 we had. Bink was her name. She lived in class for about 6 weeks then went to my friend’s house. She lived with him till he moved into town. Then she went back to the farm she had come from.
    For me an egg basted in butter with fresh toast is the best. Then again soft cooked is nothing to turn down.
    Fun piece.

    • Mm, that sounds delish, butter and toast. I forgot to mention egg-in-the-hole, with the little cutout piece of toast and the egg cooked within. I make that a lot for a quick supper.

      The little chicken project sounds like fun! Good classroom activity.

  2. I love me some eggs. but the yolks must be hard. I can not stand runny yokes. Jonette recently decided that she likes over easy eggs. wow those are hard to pull off. Over hard eggs are easy, just mess up the yolk and fry the living crap out of them.

    Boiling an egg takes timing. I am 39 years old and just figured out how to do it properly. The rules for sea level are to put the eggs in cold water and blast the heat till the water starts to boil, reduce the heat to medium. keep the water going at a slow boil for 10 minutes.

    well I live at about 6,500 feet above sea level and I actually did an experiment. water needs to be 212 degrees F to boil at sea level. here water boils at 198 F. so 10 minutes was not enough. A few trial and error attempts and 13 minutes was the magic number. perfectly hard sunny yellow yolks, no green or runs. Cooking at high elevations is always a trial and error thing.

    well eggs are indeed very awesome

    • I tried and tried, ikcewicasa, but I can’t seem to keep them from being squishy. Oh well. I do make a good poached egg. I forgot to mention Egg in the Hole, made with a piece of bread in the pan, fried in butter, with an egg in the middle of a hole punched out. Delicious!

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