Behind again–this is April 21’s post. I’ll do my best to get a post written between flights today.
Ever get nervous about a project?
I’m nervous about this one. I’m quavering. I feel as though I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, taken on too much, shot my arrow too high into the air, and it’s going to come back down and slice through my body like I’m made of butter.
It’s an odd feeling—I have no reason to be nervous about it. No agents are breathing down my neck, and I have no deadline. I do have a very strange feeling that I need to do it and do it now, for what reason I can’t fathom. And it’s all mixed up with some very strange anticipation that revolves around my other work.
Am I getting vibes? Is my brain trying to tell me that this is too big a project, and that I should be working on other things? Is that the fearful, inadequate me talking?
I’m nervous about flying again. Nervous about working remotely from so far away. Nervous that I spent too much time and money chasing down something that will never happen (there’s Ms. Inadequate again). This whole last week has been ridiculously crappy, with the knee injury, the broken elevator, and now some confusion about my flights.
So excuse my quavers, while I try yet again to have some kind of meaningful adventure.